“Whenever anyone has called me a bitch, I have taken it as a compliment. To me, a bitch is assertive, unapologetic, demanding, intimidating, intelligent, fiercely protective, in control — all very positive attributes. But it’s not supposed to be a compliment, because there’s that stupid double standard: When men are aggressive and dominant, they are admired, but when a woman possesses those same qualities, she is dismissed and called a bitch.
These days, I strive to be a bitch, because not being one sucks. Not being a bitch means not having your voice heard. Not being a bitch means you agree with all the bullshit. Not being a bitch means you don’t appreciate all the other bitches who have come before you. Not being a bitch means since Eve ate that apple, we will forever have to pay for her bitchiness with complacence, obedience, acceptance, closed eyes, and open legs.”—
this is when i start to regret my lack of doing homework in the holidays
so when i am scrolling through tumblr, i see pictures of girls and i’m like, ‘wow, i wish my body looked like that!” or whatever. well, i was just scrolling quickly through and chris was like, “I wish i looked like that. like someone peed in my hair.”
Sometimes I think going to art school is the worst thing I've ever done for myself.
More often than not, I wish I would have went for something else, just not something that includes my art. I have been writing for as long as I can remember, and have been fairly confident in my writing for a long time. I learn by reading. When I read something that resonates with me, I take it to heart, and work towards that.
Yesterday, a teacher actually told me that one of my in class writings were “stupid.” He told us to start where the story started, and that’s what I did. Because of this, one little detail didn’t make sense to him. He hung up on this one, small fucking, useless detail, and because he didn’t understand it, he called it “stupid.”
Last semester, I wrote a piece about a dream I had. I wrote it in a very minimalist style since I had been reading a lot of Miranda July at the time. It ended up being my favorite piece of that whole semester. However, my teacher kept telling me, “it needs more! More detail! Drag this scene out! It needs more!” And I kept editing it, and editing it, and editing it, and now I absolutely fucking hate it. Stupid me didn’t save the original draft. And it sucks because I felt like that one piece could have been published somewhere in the world.
I don’t know who teachers/professors/anyone is to tell you that your art isn’t art, and mold it to what THEIR standards are. I can understand some criticisms, but I think that the artist should have more of a say or more of a chance to explain themselves. And no criticisms should ever contain the words, “it’s stupid” because that just makes me never want to read in class again.
School is breaking me and making me feel worse about what I do, and that’s exactly what it SHOULDN’T be doing.